Speaker 1: 0:00

Next up on Soul Level, human, and I was only 20 years old and feeling like I don't know that I can live like this, and an angel of a human being, a nurse at my primary care doctor's office pulled me aside and was like you are too young to be going down this chronic health path. You have to go see a naturopathic doctor. All of our patients who see one are healthier. Don't tell anyone. I told you this. She literally pulled me into like a dark side room that was like Contraband secret information and wrote it on a Post-it.

Speaker 1: 0:31

I was like, clearly this isn't going in my chart. Note how interesting Part of the light switch that I had in 2020 was being in this deep, transcendental, meditative state. I heard in my mind you are here to help the souls come through who will heal this planet. And it was like part of me and I'll probably get pretty emotional talking about it. It's like part of me is like that's a really big fucking job, like why me and I am skilled at it and I am equipped for it. And I'm also struggling with the human side of me, who's witnessing the suffering and being like, really, this is what we're doing. I hate this timeline. What I love about James and Jenny and the approach to business that they take is that it's so similar to how I approach fertility, because they're looking at a business holistically. The strategy is really important. You can be successful with that. But when you combine strategy with releasing limiting beliefs, following your soul's path, regulating your nervous system, then we have so much more opportunity.

Speaker 2: 1:33

And so much more magic too. You didn't come here to play safe. You came to remember your power and build what comes next. I'm Sylvia Beatriz, psychic medium and intuition coach, and this is Soul Level Human the podcast for truth-tellers, cycle-breakers and soul-led revolutionaries. You didn't come here to bypass the chaos. You came here to lead through it.

Speaker 2: 2:00

Today, I'm joined by Dr Katie Rose, licensed naturopathic physician, and your new TTC BFF that's trying to conceive. For those of you just entering the chat, Dr Katie specializes in fertility and has helped hundreds of couples get pregnant by blending medical insight with intuitive healing, hypnosis, nervous system work and soul level care. We talk about spirit babies, the complications of medicine in a post-Roe world, what happens when we finally learn to listen to our body, and why your intuition deserves a seat at the table, especially in medicine. Let's drop in. Dr Katie Rose is on my very own podcast and I'm so happy to have her. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to be here.

Speaker 2: 2:48

Sylvia, Thanks for coming on. I want to let everyone know. The amount of technical difficulties we just had is absolutely insane, and I don't usually have them, which is so funny. I think we tried to log in three different times and at one point it was like oh, I hear you, I see you. And you said to me I hear you, I see you. And I was like oh no, that was a necessary message, for right now I hear you, I see you. So for everybody listening right now, if you could just absorb that message into your cells right now, I hear you, I see you and thank you for being here.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Yeah, it's interesting when we have to overcome a bit to get the message out. Interesting pattern to observe.

Speaker 2: 3:39

Yeah, I don't believe in mistakes and coincidences, so I just with technical randomness that happens, I'm always like, oh, there's something in this for me. Okay, cool, thank you. And here we are it works perfectly True of so many things in life. That's the truth, if we choose to see it that way. Anyway, we always have a choice, right? We do. So let's start with just you. Tell me a little bit about what you do in the world, how you help people. Let's start there.

Speaker 1: 4:08

Oh goodness, I am a licensed naturopathic doctor, hypnotherapist and life coach and I came to this world because I had my own health struggles in my early 20s. In college I was getting sick frequently and it started as like getting a sinus infection and then pneumonia and then urinary tract infections, and it just was like over and over and over again rounds and rounds of antibiotics and finally coming to a point where I was symptomatic but no detectable infections were present. And I was only 20 years old and feeling like I don't know that I can live like this. And an angel of a human being, a nurse at my primary care doctor's office pulled me aside and was like you are too young to be going down this chronic health path. You have to go see a naturopathic doctor. All of our patients who see one are healthier. Don't tell anyone. I told you this. She literally pulled me into like a dark side room room that was like contraband.

Speaker 1: 5:07

Secret information and like wrote it on a post-it. I was like clearly this isn't going in my chart note. Uh, how interesting, yeah. And it took me a while to sit with that information because I didn't know what a naturopath was. I had been raised in an open-minded but very scientific medical family and so I was like I don't even know what that word means. I'm going to need to sit with it.

Speaker 1: 5:33

And when I finally did follow that instruction and go see a naturopath, it changed my life.

Speaker 1: 5:39

It was the first time in a medical setting and I'd had a lot of experience at that point sitting with someone who really saw me and heard me and asked better questions and spent more time investigating to really understand what was happening at a root cause level, and it was the first time in two years that I started finding relief. So here I had been on a path towards traditional medical school. I was in pre-med in college. I was actually at the point I saw this naturopath in the process of medical school applications. You go through a couple of rounds to pick your final school or they pick you, and I was struggling to write my essays, finding myself being like, for the first time, having this writer's block that like I don't know that I actually want this path and maybe I'm actually meant to go down this naturopathic medicine path, and even though all of my friends were going to traditional medical school and thought I was just being so weird and I heard all the variations of like but you're too smart for that.

Speaker 1: 6:50

Like, oh, you're just gonna be a hippie doctor. Like, what are you doing? And I was like, yeah, you guys, I know, but like it was the first time that I recall consciously like really needing to listen and follow my intuition, like for my own health and wellbeing. I had to follow this path, even though it felt completely illogical.

Speaker 2: 7:14

What did that feel like in your body?

Speaker 1: 7:17

Oh, it was a combination of like deep discomfort but knowing.

Speaker 2: 7:22

Ooh yeah, deep discomfort, but knowing Like okay, I me too it was like here.

Speaker 1: 7:27

I've been with this school of fish this whole time, Literally the image I had in my mind Keep going.

Speaker 1: 7:35

I've been with this school of fish and I've always been like maybe a different color of fish and felt like a little bit of an outsider, but like I go with them. And now I have to break away from this school of fish that I've been comfortable in. But even though it was comfortable, it was like this isn't me and maybe this is why my body has been reacting the way it has for so long. Is there's just so much that I have masked and not listened to up to this point? And it wasn't just an infection, right, it wasn't just something you could give an antibiotic and call it a day. It was like this was deep body, knowing that something needs to change. And that was one of the first things that happened in my life. That was uncomfortable but had to happen.

Speaker 2: 8:21

Wow. So your body is speaking to you all the time and the traditional approach is the snooze button right Shut up, sit down, be smaller, get over it, let's go. And you couldn't hold that anymore. It was like an overflowing bucket, right. So then this angel nurse all of a sudden drops this information in your lap and your entire life changes. What?

Speaker 1: 8:48

It did. And you know, thankfully I had family who was supportive enough to go like, okay, we don't fully understand it, but like, do what you got to do. And I went to naturopathic school. I went to naturopathic school. I found myself after finishing school and starting in a very interesting practice. That was a very masculine-led practice, focusing on internal medicine from a root cause angle.

Speaker 1: 9:18

I found this situation where a patient was sitting in the waiting room crying. I was done with my shift, I was done for the day, I'd finished all my chart notes. The doctor who she was supposed to see was running an hour behind, so she'd been sitting in the waiting room for an hour. I could see she was upset and I caught the doctor in the hallway and I said, hey, this woman's been sitting here for an hour. She's crying. And he was like, oh, I don't do crying, you deal with her. Oh, my God, like happily, red flag, I will happily see her. Not deal with her, I will happily see her.

Speaker 1: 9:54

And it turned out that she had just suffered a miscarriage and had been diagnosed with Hashimoto's and she wanted to get pregnant and stay pregnant. And that was my first case with working with someone who was struggling with fertility issues and when she, very shortly after, got pregnant, doing what I had put in her plan, I was like, oh, oh, this is where I'm supposed to be. And even though it's one of the more challenging areas to work with because we don't have guarantees, we can't guarantee that someone will come away with a baby, it's an opportunity to support people on a deeper level that they've never experienced before. So I was called, through that initial case, to expand my learning of fertility and recurrent pregnancy loss and have, for the last 11 years, specialized in the fertility area and, as you know, because we've talked off camera about it, there's so much soul level intervention that has occurred along the way that has made me realize like, oh, this also isn't just about the physical root cause. There's mental, emotional and spiritual pieces of this that have to be acknowledged as well.

Speaker 2: 11:10

What was that evolution like? Because obviously you're on a journey, right? It's not like well, I don't know. Was it a light switch moment or was it a gradual understanding of oh, there's more here.

Speaker 1: 11:21

There was a gradual understanding. I will say like I came into medical practice. Maybe I wouldn't call myself an atheist but agnostic. I'm like I was raised Catholic and went to Episcopalian and Catholic schools. Very much had like religion shoved down my throat and I'm the type of person who tends to learn things the hard way, and so I was like nope. I reject this. That teenager, you know, 18-year-old Katie, was like no.

Speaker 2: 11:51

I'm not having any of this be happening. Fuck this, I'm out.

Speaker 1: 11:56

So by the time I came into medical practice, I very much was thinking about things from a very scientific level only. And the reality is, when you're working with fertility this is not just about an egg and a sperm meeting and fertilizing and creating an embryo you are inviting a whole other human into this world. Another soul will come into this body that's being created, and I don't know that you can escape working in that field without feeling like there are miracles every single day. And even us right here, adults, we don't always pause to think about it Like we are living, breathing miracles every single one of us. Just the fact that an embryo can go from two separate cells to a little clump of cells, to a full human like it can really blow your mind.

Speaker 2: 12:51

It really does If you slow down and think about it for sure it really does Like.

Speaker 1: 12:55

The fact that any of it is possible is like what? So I think that was maybe my first like okay, we're dealing with something more than I was maybe ready or comfortable with at that immature time of my life. And the more couples that I worked with and the more scenarios that I observed where people who had been trying for 10 years, who had never conceived or had had multiple pregnancy losses, were conceiving and having a healthy baby, it was like no, there's more here. And when it really hit me was probably around 2020, had nothing to do with pandemic. I know a lot of people had wild stuff come through at that point, but I had a patient who suffered a later first trimester miscarriage and it shook me more than previous losses had.

Speaker 1: 14:18

I found myself just barely able to get out of bed for a couple of days after that particular patient's loss and, as it happened, I was in this mastermind group with other healthcare providers and the person who ran the group had, just for fun, brought an intuitive in to do a New Year's Eve session with everyone and even though it was supposed to be for fun, she like picked up on this grief that I had and I had my camera off. But she was like whoa, I am just picking up like this, this huge amount of grief and I'm curious about what might be going on that I can support you with. So I gave her just a very little background and she said I feel very compelled to tell you to read the book Spirit Babies by Walter McKechnie. That was literally my next question. Yep, yeah, and just know that there's larger things at play that you had no control over, because, of course, as the practitioner, it's like I'm wondering is there anything else we could have done to prevent?

Speaker 1: 15:25

this I know it's no one's fault, but was there something I missed that I could have prevented this from happening for her? And reading Spirit Babies was so comforting on a soul level that was like, even if you don't believe in psychic activity or connection with spirits, it was like this is comforting and now I have a stepping stone into that world and that really took off from there with bringing spirituality into my practice and learning more about my own human design and how that relates to spirituality, and trusting some of the intuitive hits that I've received over the years that I had tended to ignore because they weren't about me right. I was like, when it came to me and my own body, I feel pretty confident in listening and following that instruction. But when I would have a dream about a patient, I'd be like, oh, that's weird dreams, shove that away in a little yeah, and now going like, oh no, there's actually a lot more wisdom in that that I can be providing for people as well.

Speaker 2: 16:30

It's like you're the translator. You're literally the medium between two worlds. You have this education, this foundation of understanding of the science, how this world actually works, with the 3D and the building blocks and everything, and you also have this beautiful connection that you've started to really develop and lean into and you could not have predicted that when you first started out on your journey back in pre-med. I mean if you took a snapshot of your current life and sent it back to teenager you. I feel like your mind would be blown.

Speaker 1: 17:01

Yeah, and I do some work with that, with connection to past self and future self. Tell me please, so it was. This is always a fun story because I call it my breakthrough moment, because it was like literal, physical and emotional, spiritual Tell me about this.

Speaker 1: 17:17

So a few years ago, four years ago or so, I'd had quite an exhausting series of events of our family having COVID and then stomach flu and my husband going out of town for a conference. And the kids were little at this point, like five and two, four and one somewhere around there, and I hadn't slept in about four days. The kids were well again, but I was not.

Speaker 1: 17:41

I was on the tail of the stomach flu and trying to get their lunches together for preschool, and one of them is like tugging on my arm. The other one is like, hollering at me from the other end of the house and I was just like I can't, like I just like toss the peanut butter down on the counter.

Speaker 1: 17:59

I ran to my bedroom, slammed the door and kicked a hole in the wall Like I threw a full on temper tantrum and I was like, okay, it's time I start listening to things differently and start doing some things differently, because I think we are all at risk of just falling into day-to-day life and busyness and not intentionally slowing down.

Speaker 1: 18:24

And so when I look back at that time, I was like there's probably six months that I just had not very intentionally slowed down for myself and, knowing what I know, I was like, okay, like I know, this is a sign that I need to be doing some things differently. But I didn't know what that looked like and I had tried going to therapy and I was like, oh my God, this is frustrating as hell because we're just talking about things in circles and like I am ready to just shed layers, like I could feel like I was crawling out of my skin. Yes, and I ended up coming across a podcast that I had listened to for years before and it had always been very much in my realm of like gut health and hormones, and I started listening to it. I was like, oh, this they've changed. They are now talking about like deep transformation and like hard life events that led to massive growth.

Speaker 1: 19:18

And for anyone who may be wondering what podcast are you talking about? It used to be called the Zesty Ginger podcast and I think maybe now it's just becoming Zesty. Megan Blacksmith was talking about something on that podcast that I was just like this is hitting every note that I've been trying to hear but couldn't quite allow through and she was leading a hypnosis training and I just intuitively knew I was like I have to do this this is a yes, if nothing else, this is for me to show up as the best version of myself, as the best parent I to show up as the best version of myself, as the best parent I can be, as the best leader of my family that I can be, and help.

Speaker 1: 19:59

Maybe I'll learn something for other people too. So I ended up doing that training, absolutely falling in love with the tools of hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming and quantum time technique, and bringing that into practice, having really profound experiences with my patients and clients who had these spiritual experiences with hypnosis where they would have, like their grandmother, who had recently passed, come to them in the session, or their future baby, who they had been trying for, come and communicate, and so I was just like, okay, I don't know what the hell this is, but I guess this is what needed to happen.

Speaker 2: 20:39

We're going in.

Speaker 1: 20:41

I joke that I'm like, I'm not a psychic in a traditional sense of like-.

Speaker 2: 20:46

The neon sign on the window and the yeah and.

Speaker 1: 20:49

I can't just close my eyes and be like, oh, I'm getting this message, but I'm getting this message, but I'm really good at facilitating people receiving their own messages. That's such a gift. It's been really, really incredible. So that was my own sort of personal evolution into bringing tools into my business to help with that, because there's only so much testing that you can do of the physical body. But if someone has a limiting belief, if someone's nervous system is completely dysregulated due to trauma, if there's been a soul knocking at their heart that they haven't quite been able to receive the messages from, then, there's ways that we can work differently.

Speaker 2: 21:28

Yeah, I always say, when you've done everything 3D, it's time to go behind the scenes and see what's going on back there too. Absolutely, it's vital, it's so huge. And that's amazing too, because it's so easy to say like, oh, my past life was in Egypt and I had all this stuff. You can't verify it. You can't verify it, and that's my frustration with that kind of stuff, like it's so fun, it's interesting, but you can't have the evidential stuff to back it up. And with what you do, I don't know that it's evidence, necessarily, but you get real time 3D feedback in the progress of where you're going and I think that's so powerful, even outside of the fertility space. Just as a human, as a soul level human, you having these experiences that you can facilitate for yourself and others. It's like you're meeting in a sacred circle with your patients, with your clients, and sharing this incredible moment of opportunity. Yeah, that's so powerful.

Speaker 1: 22:25

I would agree it's been pretty incredible, you know it's. It's also allowed me to see that I don't have to only work with people who are dealing with fertility issues, because a lot of times they'll. This happened by accident and I think you'll appreciate this story. There's a person who I had been working with for fertility through her first child and she was trying for her second and we started doing this breakthrough work and she was like, oh my gosh, this is incredible, can my mom do this with you? And before I could actually answer her, because she'd had my booking link herself, she forwarded it to her mom and her mom ended up signing up for a package of hypnosis sessions. And I was honestly terrified because I was like this woman's like 70 years old she's a retired tenured psychology professor and like imposter syndrome, like really came out strong there.

Speaker 1: 23:20

I was like what am I doing? I'm like, why does she want to do this? And yet it's come to my awareness that this isn't just about helping someone get pregnant or stay pregnant. It's like we are in a time of deep suffering, turmoil, but transformation, in which we're creating an ecosystem that the souls who are trying to come through who will have the greatest benefit on healing this planet will be able to come through and not have to deal with so much of the human bullshit that we carry.

Speaker 2: 23:53

Dear God, I hope so. I've heard a few of my friends are like you know, this could take like 400 years, right? And I'm like I reject that reality so hard. I am impatient, I want things to instantly manifest. No, we're handling this in one generation and my kids are going to be better off than I was, you know.

Speaker 2: 24:10

And I sit with all of those realities and I also think about all the people who are like debating. You know, do I want to be a parent, do I not? What are the ethics of bringing in new babies to this planet, this dying planet, right? And if you look at it from the soul perspective again, it's like, well, it's not just about what we want necessarily to. These souls also want to come, have the experience and also want to have some kind of effect and play with the dense energy that we have. And it's so interesting and at the same time it's so difficult to hold both realities, because it is really dense here and it is terrifying and hard and heartbreaking in a lot of ways. And we're in our nice cushy places here in the States and even in the States we're having some shit go down. So that's a lot.

Speaker 1: 25:00

I mean to be really transparent. I've been struggling with that so much in the past. Let's see six months to be pretty much exact, but even before that there's just trends that you can see in the world that go like gosh. People are coming to me wanting to have babies and I'm supporting them and facilitating that. Am I also facilitating more suffering in the world?

Speaker 1: 25:25

by bringing more life into the world. But part of the light switch that I had in 2020 was being in this deep, transcendental meditative state and having this really strong connection feeling and I don't even know if I could say message, but like heard in my mind like you are here to help the souls come through who will heal this planet, and it was like part of me I'll probably get pretty emotional talking about it. It's like part of me is like that's a really big fucking job, like why me?

Speaker 2: 26:02

Can I?

Speaker 1: 26:02

just like have fun in this, however many years I get on this planet, and like like that's a, that's a lot, and I am skilled at it and I am equipped for it. And I'm also struggling with the human side of me who's witnessing the suffering and being like, really, this is what we're doing. I hate this timeline. So I really appreciate the people who are struggling with that decision of Mm-hmm. They know what they're getting into and it's not my job to control that.

Speaker 1: 26:47

So I've been in a deep state of conflict, like inner conflict, around this for months and I think it's probably impacted to some extent, like how open I am to how many people can come and work with me. So I've been very like a little, I don't know, like I've had some energetic guards up, yeah, and yet I can sense that there is a shift coming, even if I don't know what it is. It's similar to that feeling that I had, maybe when I had to make the decision of do I want to pursue naturopathic medical school or go off on this traditional route. It's like I feel this kind of state of unrest like something is coming.

Speaker 1: 27:30

I think it's going to be okay, but right now it doesn't feel okay and it's hard to put words to it.

Speaker 2: 27:37

Yeah, I've, I've been feeling the same. Everything, really, since November. It's like a. It's like a mental reorganization that's been happening where it's like, wait, which which timeline am I on? And that's the kind of 2025 I'm gonna have and wait. What's you want me to do? What? Now? You know, and, um, it has been a lot. It has been a lot, and one thing that you said was that you commend the people who are sitting with the choice and at a time like today, having that choice is very contentious and apparently it's very vilified From the soul level. Everything in the universe is free will. Why wouldn't that be the same? What's your take on all of this? Because I'm sure I have many things to say, but you're on the front lines and you have many more.

Speaker 1: 28:29

So working in healthcare and just at like the very basic, like I am a medical provider and I have to help my patients make the best decision for them, regardless of what my beliefs, my religion or anything else maybe.

Speaker 1: 28:45

But I will say I stand very strongly in choice and that when we have all the medical care at our disposal, everyone is better for it Not just the woman who might be struggling with a decision of whether she wants to carry a pregnancy, but her entire ecosystem. When a woman feels empowered to make her own choices, everyone benefits. So that has been challenging I mean really for years, since Roe v Wade was overturned like that's been a struggle. Living in Arizona, where we have more limitations but thankfully we have a governor who's really on board with women having choice, it's been a challenge and feeling like your hands are tied, like there's not much one person can do. So how do you negotiate that with the small actions that you might be able to take on a day-to-day basis without getting overwhelmed by everything that's happening? That's been a challenge, I think, for so many of us.

Speaker 2: 29:49

Absolutely. Do you have a network of other physicians that you keep in contact with? Do you have community at all in that space, or are you just feeling like you're carrying everything on your own.

Speaker 1: 30:01

No, there is definitely a community and I will say overwhelmingly, most physicians I talk to agree with this, because we took an oath to do no harm and to always put our patient's best interests first. So, overwhelmingly physicians are in agreeance about this. It's a minority of physicians who would sit in the forced birth corner, but it's still challenging to talk about publicly because there is so much misinformation and backlash from people who are so. Maybe brainwashed is a word, harsh word but it feels that way sometimes. But yes, there are thankfully so many amazing providers who are. Some of them have the skill set to be on the front lines of this conversation and some of us are more quietly working in the background.

Speaker 2: 31:01

And I think both are needed. I think both are needed. There's space for all. I just mentioned the analogy of a choir in my last show, and it's truly like that. I mean, every person is given their part to play, and if one person opts out of that part, you can hear it it definitely affects the whole who is on various parts of their journey, where they have, you know, different fears or different consequences of actually speaking out. The message is to not not do anything right, but you can still find something in your wheelhouse, in your world, to do, and that's okay too. There is space for all of it.

Speaker 1: 31:42

Yeah, and sometimes it starts with just by regulating your own nervous system, gathering some tools to learn how to process your emotions, to find small pockets of joy first, like take care of you first, and then what can you do with the people who are closest to you, even if that just means that, with your own kids, you're helping them regulate their emotions, just means that, with your own kids, you're helping them regulate their emotions. There's so much that can be said for what we're able to do within our own homes and with our own communities. We don't all have to run to Washington and lobby. There's a lot that can still benefit the larger ecosystem by just taking care of you.

Speaker 2: 32:22

Yeah, definitely starting there, seeing the water on the wall behind you just the idea of drowning, for example that really comes to mind, because if somebody's drowning and your only response is to freak out, that doesn't actually help them. Right, you have to regulate, you have to stay present, you have to think quickly, you have to rely on whatever knowledge you have. You can call for help, you can learn to swim for next time. There's so many things to do other than being angry and spinning out. And at the same time, if you're overwhelmed and spinning out, that makes sense too. So, really, the first step is always going to be to look at the person in the mirror and take care of that person too, so that you can hold anything else. Yeah, and that goes for COVID, it goes for parenting, it goes for relationships, it goes for the situation we find ourselves in now right it does.

Speaker 1: 33:12

It does so much so and I will say largely, I'm working 90, 95% with people who want so badly to be parents. They have been trying for so long and it is their dream and they have that tug on their heart. So the majority of the time is trying to help people find that. But occasionally we'll have that conversation with someone who's like I thought I wanted this, but now that this is happening in the world I'm not so sure. And that's been a newer conversation over the last six months. Yeah, that has been very real and heartbreaking. And again, we need to have that choice and to be able to stand in our own power around it and trust that whatever choice you make for yourself, it's for you. No one else is living your life.

Speaker 2: 34:01

That's exactly it. Also, how huge to have that opportunity to talk it through with you on so many different levels, because in a regular fertility clinic or whatever, it would be just about okay, well, what do you want to do? You know it wouldn't have that depth that you're able to offer and I really appreciate you for that. That's a really special thing and I just really want you to take in that. That's so level, like I don't know what more you could be doing. Like you're a parent. You're showing up professionally in this way. Props to you, cause you didn't have to listen to yourself back in college and you didn't have to listen to yourself during COVID and you didn't have to listen to yourself even six months ago and getting yourself to here. So you're holding a lot and I see you and I appreciate you. You're going to make me cry. I received that Good.

Speaker 1: 34:55

Good, thank you.

Speaker 2: 34:56

Yeah, let's take this to parenting. What was your journey like getting pregnant with them calling them forward. What was that all like?

Speaker 1: 35:06

like getting pregnant with them, calling them forward Like what was, what was that all like? So I had always imagined myself as a mother. I even actually told my almost nine-year-old son this story recently as we were walking past this old building that's now empty that used to have this toy store. And when I was nine years old, I saved up a hundred dollars to buy this very lifelike baby doll. That was was literally like a weighted baby doll she weighed about eight pounds, looked exactly like an infant, and I was obsessed with buying this baby doll, taking care of her, and I'd always had that as a vision. And at a certain point in medical school I had gone through a pretty hard breakup, was kind of at this, like F, this I'm probably never going to find my person?

Speaker 1: 35:54

Why am I even on birth control? Why?

Speaker 2: 35:58

am I on birth control and then starting to get?

Speaker 1: 36:02

mad about like why was I even put on birth control in the first place? Because I had been put on it initially for acne and then just stayed on it because I was going to college.

Speaker 1: 36:12

And at that point I realized like I've been on this for like eight years. I don't even know what my body does without it. So I stopped taking my hormonal birth control and then I just didn't get a period. And I got one finally after about six months and I was like, oh, okay, good, and then not for another six months and it was clear to me that if I'm not getting a period, we're going to have a problem if and when the time comes that I do want to have kids.

Speaker 1: 36:39

So I went to my OBGYN, who I'd seen since I was about 18. And I told her she was the first person that I confided in. Like I'm actually really scared about what this means and I'm afraid I won't be able to have kids. And she was just like, oh, you're so young, like I think I was 25. She's like you're so young, like you have nothing to worry about. If it bothers you not to have a period, just go back on birth control. And I was like but if I'm not ovulating now, why would that change if I just go back on birth control?

Speaker 1: 37:13

Clearly it was masking something and so it took me on this wild journey of figuring out what was happening in my body. What was my hormonal situation wanting to communicate? My hormonal situation wanting to communicate. And I did eventually meet my now husband and even from there, it took about another year and a half, two years to notice signs of ovulation and I never really confided in him.

Speaker 1: 37:41

How scared I was. In fact, I kind of put on a brave front of like, oh you know, if it doesn't happen, then we'll just be that couple that travels a lot. And yet I knew that in my soul, like it would probably hurt a lot more if we didn't have kids. I started working with a homeopath just to, you know, work on some things that I never really looked at before. She does like cellular detoxification, but she also has, like these deeper conversations and we were talking about relationship to my own parents and I was like, well, I don't know my dad, and she was like and and I was like I don't know, and what she was it? She was like, hmm, there's more here, my friend, yes, I have a feeling there might be something there that may be also creating some energetic bracing. Something within your body is responding to that and you may need to just explore it a little bit. And I was so resistant to it at first.

Speaker 2: 38:46

I can imagine.

Speaker 1: 38:49

In part out of like loyalty for my own mom, because she is amazing.

Speaker 1: 38:53

She really took on both roles with so much grace and she's a brilliant human and she never made it feel like we were anything less than just a great family unit, just me and her, and I felt that way too. And so there was a part of me that was like, oh, but if I go down that path of exploring more about that lack of paternal relationship, am I disloyal to my mom? And that felt interesting to notice in myself. So I had to have a conversation with her first about it and she was just like no, I completely understand. Like it's so natural to have that curiosity and to want to know more. So, like you know, full blessing, like do whatever you got to do.

Speaker 1: 39:41

And so I spent quite a bit of time with that, just starting with some online research about you know that side of the family, what could I learn? And really, sitting in the like, is there a need to actually know this person, or is there just a curiosity that has to be met for me to be able to move into parenthood and to be able to have a conversation with my husband about what that actually really looked like to be a single parent household and knowing that I don't want that. I want to raise children with two parents. I want to know that, no matter what happens, we're in this together. Really groundbreaking conversation for me to have, because I had put a lot of avoidance around those sort of deep things and, even though my cycles weren't even close to being totally regular, I ended up getting pregnant after we'd been married for about six months. Wow, after all those conversations, after all those conversations yeah, and we had never.

Speaker 1: 40:45

I had been very intentional, because I was already working in the fertility space to notice my language and my energy around things, and I didn't want to try to get pregnant. I wanted to be open to what the universe wanted for me and what I was meant to learn from that, and so we pulled the goalie and allowed for pregnancy. But I really didn't ever want to step into the energy of trying. So that was baby number one, and with baby number two it took a long time for my period to come back and I just really trusted my body that it knew what it was doing and that it was okay that it took a while to come back, that there was some nourishment that needed to take place and I felt like the energy of my second son well before he was actually conceived. I just knew You're coming, I see you, I feel you.

Speaker 1: 41:44

I was like I feel this little soul pretty strongly and I also I know some people think it sounds like TMI or crazy, but I was like I knew when I got pregnant Yep, yep, same, and his energy like totally matches like what I was feeling leading up to that conception as well. So his personality doesn't surprise me in one bit. And it's so funny because society has all these expectations. My kids have an almost four-year gap and they're like gosh, wouldn't you want to have them closer together? And I'm like as if I had control over that. Yeah, yeah, for real, oh, my gosh. So it's just so funny. But they're exactly who they're meant to be and I'm glad that I trusted my body and had some of those hard conversations to get there.

Speaker 2: 42:36

Gosh, imagine all the energy you moved out of the way with all those conversations and really sitting with the truth of everything and what you really wanted out of whatever came next. Yeah, you mentioned trusting your body. Was that your experience through birthing? Also in?

Speaker 1: 42:54

pregnancy. How was that for you? It's just so good to reflect on. First time around, I trusted my body. My providers were maybe a little more difficult.

Speaker 1: 43:06

I was scheduled to labor and birth at a birth center that had a hospital affiliation, but they were a separate building, separate entity, and I went into labor with my first son a little early. I was like 37 weeks and two days and they had a cutoff of 37 weeks. So I was like just over their cutoff and my water had broken pretty early on at home and I was like, well, you know, I don't know what that looks like because I've never done this before, so we'll just go in after. I'd only been having contractions for about an hour, since my water had broken, and it was July in Arizona. It was like 112 degrees out. We had to go take my dog to my parents' house first, so we'd been in the car for like an hour by the time we got to the birth center. I was hot and she didn't like that.

Speaker 1: 43:58

My temperature was a 99. And she didn't like that. My water had broken before I was in active labor and they ended up transferring me to the hospital. So I was pacing around in triage at the hospital. They had these like fabric chairs. I'm leaking. Like no one had thought to give me a pad. I'm leaking. And the lady's like, would you like to sit down? I was like no, I would not like to fucking sit down. Listen, lady, do you want amniotic fluid on your chairs, bitch?

Speaker 2: 44:30

Yeah, coming, right up oh yeah, in labor, all bets are off in labor.

Speaker 1: 44:35

Oh, my word. So I was so angry and it just stalled labor out, like I basically stopped having contractions altogether. Like by the time they got me in a room an hour and a half later, I was just like well, nothing's happening here and I have my mom and my husband with me and my mom's an acupuncturist now.

Speaker 1: 44:57

she wasn't when I was growing up, but she she was like well, maybe we can just do some needles, if they let us, and see if we can move things along. And it started to, but not to the midwife's liking. She wanted things to move a little faster. So they urged me to take Pitocin and I started at a really low dose and they ramped it up over the next five hours and then, I think by the time I'd been in labor for about 12 hours, they were like yeah, we probably just need to give you a full dose and they might as well just offer an epidural at the same time. Because it was a pretty wildly unproductive labor experience. Labor wasn't progressing, but I was in a lot of pain.

Speaker 2: 45:42

Hmm.

Speaker 1: 45:43

So once they had a shift change and I got a new midwife and she knew me better, she was like, listen, if you were my daughter and we knew we wanted this baby to come out with as little trauma as possible, I would be recommending pain control. You do, you, but that's a suggestion and it was just such a nice way of inviting me into the conversation of my own care and I got an epidural. It was the best thing that ever happened in that moment and I was able to relax and nap and I think my body, finally relaxing, just allowed things to progress. Finally, everything else was uncomplicated, thankfully, super healthy little baby. But we knew that for my next birth experience, well, I knew that things needed to be different. So I started interviewing home birth midwives pretty early on in that pregnancy and had a really smooth, easy delivery in a home birth for him. That was so empowering and my husband always joked that like you could have probably just gone off in the woods and like caught that baby yourself.

Speaker 1: 46:54

Like it felt like you didn't really need any of us and I was like, no, I really didn't, but it was nice to have you there and I really felt. I felt so connected to my baby in that particular labor and delivery. We were just in it, talking to each other the whole time and at no point did I feel scared or like I think maybe my body was screaming, but I just knew I could do this. And trusting my body with that one, just like fully surrendering, was amazing.

Speaker 2: 47:32

That's incredible. I had a very similar experience too. But I want to ask you do you find that there's a parallel with how that went down the first time and the second time, to how you were navigating your own connection and your own intuition outside of that space?

Speaker 1: 47:46

Yeah, I do. I mean, I think I was still so new to really recognizing intuition my first time around. I had followed it, I'd had those moments right, but I didn't quite know, maybe not how to listen to my intuition, but how to fully advocate for myself. Yeah, because here you have these providers. They're experts. This midwife who transferred me had been midwifing for 30 years and I was like who am I to be? Like you don't know what you're doing, and so that would probably be the key difference was in really advocating and trusting and surrendering, but the advocation was the strongest part.

Speaker 2: 48:27

I feel like there's an element of self-power just from that knowing, because the first time you don't know what you don't know. You've never done this before and it makes sense that you'd be like, okay, I trust you, you're doing this every single day. And then for me I remember, because I had been studying psychic skills and energy and stuff for I don't know what three or four years at that point, and I had felt very connected with conception and with everything. Like you're saying, I was feeling them before they came in. It made sense to me, everything was nice and easy, blah, blah, blah. And then a friend had gifted me hypno babies, but I hadn't really doubled down on practicing it that first time around.

Speaker 2: 49:05

And I just remember this moment in labor that first time. It was a three-hour labor with 20 minutes of pushing. It was very intense on the first day of Aries which completely lines up with her personality, by the way, yeah. So I just remember every muscle in my body tense and everything was like oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And it was like this is not what I practiced, this is not what I practiced, this is not what I practiced and I just couldn't get to the point of like, surrender and release and trust. I couldn't get there, even though I was like I'm calling on my grandma, I'm calling my guides, I'm calling everybody, but this is fucking hard, it's scary, yeah, so it was that.

Speaker 2: 49:44

And then I tore because I was pushing. They were like it's time to push, you know. Okay, so that was that version. From that in 2015 to 2020, right before everything it was, you know, so much growth and so much self-discovery and so much work on, you know, intuition and the connection and the trust that on the second time around, it was so um, it was I'm not going to say it was easy, but ease filled. There was that sense of surrender and co-creation and collaboration in that um that I was definitely able to access, just that relaxing into it. Even though obviously the contractions and the surgeons surges were intense and painful, I was really able to fall on the hypnobabies and the preparation and the space that I'd created, I guess, isn't that wild.

Speaker 1: 50:46

It's so wild, birth is so wild. I mean, if you have the skill set and you're open to it being a spiritual experience like oh my gosh.

Speaker 2: 51:00

It's just it's an initiation Otherworldly. So thank you for hypnotherapy on that category too, because it really truly was a lifesaver. If anyone is pregnant, listening to this, hypnobabies is where it's at it is.

Speaker 1: 51:12

I refer to it as well and, of course, like if oh, my goodness, I can't remember what text it was that I was reading about.

Speaker 1: 51:19

It may have been in Spiritual Fertility, which is another great book about just the spirituality of conception and pregnancy, and that if someone is struggling in labor or if they have fears leading up to labor or even fears leading up to conception because they've been handed down these stories about how terrible labor and delivery and how hard postpartum is and all of these things that may not really belong to them, that hypnotherapy is such an effective way to unwind that trauma. And even though people think of trauma as being like this capital T situation, we also absorb trauma from other situations where other people didn't have the skills to deal with the situation, and then they project those stories onto us and our unconscious mind really doesn't know the difference between something that happened to someone else and something that happened to us. So hypnosis is just such a highly effective tool for clearing those I hate to call them blockages, because it's not like a concrete roadblock, it's more of like a curtain that we just need to move aside, it can be really gentle.

Speaker 1: 52:27

Oh, I love that. I just love hypnosis.

Speaker 2: 52:32

I love how you reframed that, because it does have such a weight and a stigma, though your blockages yes.

Speaker 1: 52:39

I know I don't like it, but I also don't know how else to talk about it.

Speaker 2: 52:42

It could be more gentle, it could be more easeful, it could be easier. We think of everything that we were talking about with therapy, too. It's talking and going around in circles and going in your grief and your trauma and everything feels so hard because you're going at it with the 3D tools that you have right, and with hypnosis it doesn't feel as heavy, it doesn't take as long, it's easier, it's lighter, it's just not as hard.

Speaker 1: 53:09

I find that as well. And not to downplay therapy yeah, I think both are important time and places for doing things differently too, and so just offering that as an option to people is often, you know, people are surprised that letting go of energy and weight can be easier and can actually lead to feeling lightness faster. So I'm a big fan, but I'm biased, obviously.

Speaker 2: 53:39

Yeah Well, I'm with you and we're in the same boat. I don't want to take so much of your time, money and business that we're talking about.

Speaker 1: 53:46

Well, I think it's pretty safe to say that as we are raised, we hear things about money and that can influence our own relationship to money. And even people who have, objectively, a lot of dollars in a bank account, they can still struggle with their relationship with money. I do think it's really fun and interesting to talk about money, in part because it's a stigma, and I remember I remember seeing my mom's paycheck one time when I was growing up and I was like is that how much you make? And she was just like, oh, we don't really talk about those.

Speaker 1: 54:16

Oh yeah, that's taboo. And then it was like put in a drawer and never talked about again and I was like, oh well, I thought that was going to be a really interesting conversation and I was like a little Scourge McDuck. When I was a kid, if someone gave me a bunch of coins I'd be like ha ha, diving and swimming through this. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2: 54:33

I love it.

Speaker 1: 54:33

I would imagine that and I would hand, count and put them in the rolls and take them to the bank and I just loved it. It was so much fun. And then at a certain point you're told that you're not supposed to do that. You're not supposed to talk about money, it's not classy to talk about it, or people who have a lot of money are greedy. There's just so much that we carry around it.

Speaker 1: 54:56

And, working in the fertility space, I've seen some interesting things come up around when my biggest intention with people is to help them figure out what their body, mind and spirit needs to feel safe to conceive. And you know, maybe you have someone who's already gone through three rounds of IVF and spent $90,000, but money was already like a safety and security issue for them that was never addressed. And now they're being sold this idea that IVF was the only way they could get pregnant and they've already spent their entire life savings and now their foundation is rocked even further. So I've gotten into more and more conversations around money and I'm so glad that I have this training with hypnosis and subconscious work to be able to hold space for those conversations, because oftentimes, when we can understand what that type of security brings to someone, we can find other ways to create safety and then, when the nervous system feels more comfortable about money conversations, we can open up other pathways to abundance and recognize that money is just energy and I know that it's.

Speaker 1: 56:08

You know, I don't want to be an asshole and be like it's all just energy. It's like you know, at the 3D level, we have to pay our bills. Yeah, we have to keep a roof over our head, and if we can't do that, then we've got some figuring out to do. But if we've already got that and our needs are met on that basic level of like I can pay for my shelter, I can pay for my food, I can keep the lights on and the water running, what else does my nervous system need to feel safe and abundant?

Speaker 1: 56:44

Money might be one part of that, but it's being able to feel safe talking about money and not aligning your own human worth to the number of dollars in your bank account, hopefully not having to make decisions about growing your family based on that alone, because money comes and goes, and so what I hate is for someone to not invest in themselves what they are worthy of to grow their family because they're scared about money and it's a nuanced conversation. I have a lot of respect for that. I did not grow up wealthy by any means. I feel quite wealthy now because I've worked on my own relationship with money.

Speaker 2: 57:24

Well, I think we're just going into the whole conversation about the energetics of money and receiving and how it correlates with all the energy work that you do and the physical work that you do also.

Speaker 2: 57:32

I think it is so tied together and it's so interesting that the root and sacral chakra have so much to do with all of your work and no wonder you talk about both of those things and it's amazing that you even have the space to hold that all of your work and no wonder you talk about both of those things.

Speaker 2: 57:44

And it's amazing that you even have the space to hold that conversation within your practice, because, again, it's not a normal, acceptable way to do things in the regular world to integrate all of those conversations and you get to. And I want to say also that a through line that I've noticed from everything that you've been saying, from your relationship with your mom to the relationship that you had with yourself when you were choosing to go this route instead of the regular medical route right and into discovering hypnosis and energy and everything the big through line for me is safety. You had the safety to go into the different conversations and the different spaces and look at the safety that you're also able to offer others, because if you didn't have it, you wouldn't be able to turn around and offer it.

Speaker 1: 58:37

Yeah, so that's beautiful it is and it's funny how that's maybe one of the parts of my practice that has evolved the most is just being able to identify that, but also identify that our body needs to feel safe to conceive. And that's going to look different for everyone because, as it's been brought to my attention by people who have been on a long fertility journey, they're like you'd have some crack addict under a bridge who's getting pregnant. How is it that her body feels safe? I can't answer that for that and I don't know what that soul's journey is here for.

Speaker 2: 59:13

At that point it is a soul contract situation. What do you know? Yeah, oh yeah, Like we, we can all judge that.

Speaker 1: 59:19

Right, yeah, so we really have to reserve judgment and stay curious about, like, what do I need, what does this body need to feel safe, what does this relationship need to feel safe? And being able to turn inward to ask those questions instead of asking like, well, why that person and why me? And like you know, there's there's so much judgment that we can bring into a situation and when we can release that and stay curious, that's the pathway to that safety.

Speaker 2: 59:46

Yeah, and the fastest pathway to moving energy to get there also. Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful. So I want to end by talking about business by design, which is how we know each other, and also I know that you have a three-day event coming up.

Speaker 1: 1:00:04

I do. Yes, I have to give a shout out to Business by Design because I've met the best people in it. Truly, truly, it gets really lonely as a business owner, as a small business owner who has for the last four years worked a lot from home and worked in a way that not everyone else understands. So finding my people in business by design has been very nourishing for my soul and also good for me because I can tend to lean a little more heavily on the woo and the energy and the soul work and neglect the like. Okay, what is my actual strategy?

Speaker 2: 1:00:44

for doing anything. What am I doing today? Right Got it. Module four I got it.

Speaker 1: 1:00:51

Yeah, but what I love about James and Jenny and the approach to business that they take is that it's so similar to how I approach fertility, because they're looking at a business holistically, like, yeah, strategy is really important and you can be successful with that. But like, when you combine strategy with releasing limiting beliefs, following your soul's path, regulating your nervous system, then we have so much more opportunity.

Speaker 2: 1:01:18

And so much more magic too. I mean, you can't possibly control or predict the magic that happens when you show up in this way. I mean even just having this conversation now, like there's no way I would have met you other than business by design and our weekend in Sedona together, and we just completely hit it off. We're like oh, you're cool, Awesome.

Speaker 1: 1:01:38

I was like we're going to be friends.

Speaker 2: 1:01:40

Yeah, and done Exactly so. I'm just so grateful. Shout out James and Jenny and Team Wedmore You're amazing, I love you so much and also the work that they do in terms of supporting people with their money story and abundance journey, and their energetics too. I just love it. It's all everything I love to talk about. It's so good, it's so good, and the more good people can be successful, the more good we can do in the world.

Speaker 1: 1:02:07

And we have to remember that, as people who can be easily brought down by all the occurrences in the world, it's like we have to remember that when money is in the hands of good people, it only magnifies the good.

Speaker 2: 1:02:21

Yeah, we have to hold that vision. Now tell me about your three-day event coming up, because that sounds so exciting.

Speaker 1: 1:02:33

Yes, so a few times a year, I run an online virtual fertility retreat. And what's really important about this so everything that we've talked about in this hour and learning what your body needs to feel safe that is what this retreat is geared towards. So I know that so many women come at their fertility journey solely focused on, like what's happening on a physical level, like am I ovulating, am I timing everything right, am I taking the right supplements and it's very much from this lens of like, doing, doing, doing and trying, and trying yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:03:00

And a very like masculine energy, and the retreat is an opportunity to really step outside of that for a moment and explore things differently so that you can learn what your individual body needs for that safety. So it's a combination of education like me teaching people like what is actually happening at a cellular level when a body is in a chronic fight or flight state, but also doing deep meditations so that we can explore that unconscious realm of like what limiting beliefs might exist. What have you been telling yourself? Am I too old? Am I running out of time? Did I wait too long? My eggs are bad? There's so many things that we tell ourselves. Maybe we're not even conscious to them, and this retreat gives an opportunity to start peeling back those layers so that your body can feel safe to conceive.

Speaker 2: 1:03:54

Would this also be good for somebody who might not necessarily want to conceive but is also having issues like PMDD or something like that?

Speaker 1: 1:04:03

Absolutely, because those are still vital signs. There is a high affinity for people who are trying or want to in the future, maybe even have thought about it, but they're like, not 100% sure. There's a lot of opportunity of exploration within that. So if someone purely has like it's just hormone stuff, I'm not interested in having babies. I have some other resources or other people that I would refer to first in those scenarios Awesome. So the retreat is really geared towards people who may want to have children within the next couple of years, all the way towards people who have been trying for 10 years and have never had success.

Speaker 2: 1:04:43

Beautiful. I think that sounds like the perfect time to come into your world. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for dropping in with me, and I know that all of this conversation is not the most comfortable to talk about, so I appreciate you jumping in the deep end with me.

Speaker 1: 1:05:01

Of course Can't stand small talk anyway, so we're in the right place, Holla frickin' Louia Thumbs down small talk, thumbs up soul talk.

Speaker 2: 1:05:10

That's what I'm saying. That's right. Thank you, dr Katie. Have a good day you too. Thank you for listening to Soul Level Human. If this episode moved something in you, share it. Text it to a friend, post to your stories. The soul level revolution spreads one brave human at a time, and your voice makes a difference. So until next time, remember to slow down, tune in, trust your guidance and keep having the audacity to choose the highest timeline. When you show up fully, you give others permission to do the same. Make this the timeline where you show up.